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4 mos ago
Current i want to watch the overhaul arc again
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4 mos ago
sonic the hedgehog 2 is a certified banger
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5 mos ago
i cant believe triple h retired i cant handle this
6 mos ago
i like high school rps
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6 mos ago
raltsbro is back, nature has begun to heal
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Bio









black clover shit incoming

Most Recent Posts





Location: His home → The Bruncheon
Mentions: Deimos @Danvers
Interactions: Tochi @Fabricant451, Hati @KZOMBI3


The call of an alarm wasn’t really necessary to pull him out of his slumber. Years of service in the military had given Hermes an internal clock that brought him up at five A.M., music or no. Some of his fellow deities thought he was weak for going to bed at 1130 sharp every night, but Hermes didn’t care. Truth was, Hermes didn’t care about a lot - he lived his life the way he wanted, and that was perfect for him.

He rolled out of the bed and caught himself as he caught the ground, beginning a wake-up workout. By the time the song finished, Hermes had finished his one hundred push ups and hopped up to his feet, and paused in the hallway. He looked to the left, where the garage and his home gym were, and then turned his head toward the right, where the television and his PlayStation 5 awaited. Once upon a time, Hermes had heard a saying from one of the most profound mortal philosophers of all time.

“I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.”
Anthony Bourdain


Hermes was finding it hard to win the battle against that guy today, and after a few minutes of quiet contemplation, he hung a right and flopped on his couch and picked up the controller. He checked his watch, and nodded. “Yeah… yeah, I got time. What’s Hera gonna do if I’m late to her brunch? Tell Perse to not give me a fuckin’ apple?” He asked no one in particular as he fired up the console and the game.

The game in question? Fortnite. Hermes fancied himself as something of an ‘epic gamer.’ He learned the term from Huixtocihuatl, though he was pretty sure she used it as a derogatory term. He thought it sounded pretty dope though, so he referred to himself as it to annoy her often. It was part of the fun of their relationship.

He loaded into the game with his random teammates, and adjusted his head headset slightly. Clearing his throat, Hermes pressed the push-to-talk button. “Mic check?”

“What the fuck, dude? This guy sounds like he’s a fuckin’ grandpa. Where do you wanna drop, gramps? The retirement home?”

It was always something with the kids he played games with. And it was always kids! What was the deal with that shit, no matter what time or what day he got on to play, there were always fucking kids on his team. And he hated dealing with the children, listening to them talk grated on his ears. They were squeakers, and it was sooo annoying.

“Drop tilted, you little shit.” Hermes said, rolling his eyes. He watched the screen as they fell down to the drop zone he’d asked for. At least the kid listened well. Hermes was focused on the game for the next twenty or so minutes. It wasn’t until the end of the game that they started talking again, with Hermes trying to direct the traffic.

“Left, dude. DUDE. HE’S LEFT. HE’S GOING TO KILL YOU.” Hermes screamed into his microphone, and the kid didn’t seem to pay attention to his words at all, and Hermes was forced to watch as an angry looking John Cena burst through his teammates walls and shot him in the face with a shotgun. “Kid, I fuckin’ told you that they were coming for you, what the hell?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, OLD MAN. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. DON’T TELL ME HOW TO PLAY.”

The screaming kid distracted Hermes from the business at hand, and a purple saxophone playing banana burst onto the scene and shoved an uzi up his ass. It was, at this point, that Hermes became heated. There had already been about thirty goddamn minutes of this crap, and it wasn’t like this kid was ever going to see him again. Stuck in the spectator mode, Hermes listened to the kid continue.

“I didn’t know they let the geriatrics have wifi, dude. Jesus fucking christ, people like you ruin this fucking game. Fucking boomers can’t even play and they can’t do anything but try and run other people’s lives -”

“By fucking Zeus’s beard, kid. I swear on my life I will wireshark your IP and I will send my psycho fuckbuddy to your house and she will stab you with a fork.” He growled into the mic, and to his surprise, the very legitimate threat was met with… laughter.

“Bullshit dude, you’re probably a forty year old virgin, up at five AM playing competitive Fortnite.”

There was a pause, as Hermes couldn't figure out how to reply to that comment. And then, a new, third voice joined the fray. “Hey guys! Sorry, I couldn’t get my mic to work until now. We did pretty good! Fourth place isn’t too bad.”

Hermes sighed, and just shut his PS5 off. That’s the last time I play Fortnite at five A.M… Hermes told himself for the fourth time that week, then stood up and stretched his arms over his head. Yeah… yeah, I got time. He decided, and then he stumbled into the garage to get his morning workout in.

Before much longer, Hermes was dressed, and on his bike. He flew through the streets of Seattle with his music blasting from the speakers on the bike. Hermes wasn’t a savage - he wasn’t stupid enough to ride the bike with earbuds in. He was just stupid enough to ride the bike without a helmet. Once he arrived at the location, he dropped gears and brought the bike to a stop, tossed the keys to the valet.

Once he was inside, Hermes found himself two glasses of champagne off of the plate of a passing waiter. He slammed one and put the empty glass down as he looked around. He was searching for his favorite Aztec goddess, the goddess of salt. She had to be around here somewhere, surely. Looking around, he found the group of people in the center of the building and headed that way. If he had to guess, Tochi was probably in there.

"Some party, right? Better than last year."


There she was. His target sighted, Hermes easily stepped through the crowd to her voice, and when he saw her, he scooped her up and over his shoulder, like a sack of potatoes. He knew she wouldn’t like it, but he had a feeling he’d like what she was holding up to her behind his back: a glass of champagne. “I heard you running your mouth on your stream, you know —”

Hermes stopped before he could even address the claim that he finished fast, as he realized what the people were congregating around: the bodies of his friends. “What the fuck…” Was all he could say. Keeping Tochi slung over his shoulder, he pulled out his phone.

To: Brother Wolf

Dude… what is going on?


If anyone would know, Hati would.





Location: Various
Mentions: A fair amount
Interactions: Persephone, Hades, Athena & Nike @Aewin, @sly13, @metanoia, @Fabricant451


Earlier


When she woke up, she first realized two things: Clark Rogers was nowhere near her. The second thing? The second thing was somehow even more disappointing. During the night, the lights were set for the mood, and she’d hardly paid attention to the room. But now? Now, she saw it in plain view: Clark Rogers was a nerd. Like many of his fans, she had convinced himself that his air of nerdiness in interviews had simply been a facade to sell the role to fans of the source material. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case.

She sat up in the bed and clutched the blanket to her chest, frowning a bit as she stared across the way toward a massive oak slab of a desk, more specifically she was gazing at the huge poster that hung on the wall above it. There was a typewriter on the desk, one that looked like it belonged on the set of a period piece, and not in the home of an incredibly affluent actor. There was a piece of paper on it, with some lettering typed on it, and the raven-haired woman drew herself from the bed and walked toward the desk, picking the paper up and reading the words typed on it.

.03 Seconds: A Memoir

The greatest mistake I ever made was putting a wedge between myself and my brothers. I think, in my long list of regrets, it’s the largest one. Jake Joseph John has hardly spoken more than a word to me in years. Why would he though? Back then, I thought he was lesser than me, and for that I sent him down to take the job no one else wanted. The truth is, no one else could have done the job. Let alone as well as he did. Alan Arthur Atlas (???) and I never got along. It was almost always a fight from birth forward… Does he really believe I’ve changed? I need to believe he does, or this whole effort is really for nothing. I don’t even know where to begin with my childr—


With a start, she dropped the paper as she heard a voice coming down the hallway…

A good workout was the start to a good day. That was something Nike had told him, a long time ago. Of course, back then, she’d been trying to drag Zeus out of his funk. Often, he found himself wondering if it upset or frustrated her that despite all her efforts, it had been the written word of mortals that had ultimately made him think there was a chance. He liked to assume she was just happy for him, regardless of how he got out of it. One day, he’d repay her for the effort she wasted on him. One day.

Having had that ‘good workout,’ Zeus was confident he was on the path to a good day. Between the five mile run and the weight lifting he’d busted out, the Almighty was feeling pretty damn good. It was barely 7 A.M., but the god of the sky was feeling… loose, limber, lubed up. Ready for the day that was laid out before him! It was going to be pretty straight forward: arrive, eat apple, flirt with cute Aztec goddesses, and leave before Hera registered his presence. As much as he wanted to repair his relationships with the members of his Pantheon, Zeus wasn’t sure the house of Zeus would survive another Zeus and Hera interaction. The relationships he was working on rebuilding already felt like a glass house… seeing his ex-wife just seemed like throwing a massive boulder at it.

With a towel loosely wrapped around his neck, he was heading back to his bedroom with music blasting in his headphones. Used to being alone in the house, Zeus had lost himself in the groove. As he neared the door, the drum part came on… and he couldn’t help himself. Flailing his arms in a way to mimic how he’d once seen Apollo play back in the old times, Zeus bellowed. “Bodoop badoop, bodoo doop doo doo!” He froze as he looked into the room, staring at the woman he’d hooked up with the night before. A finger tapped the earbud, and the music stopped in a most dissatisfying moment.

Zeus frowned. “You’re still here? Uh, please leave.” It didn’t even register how rude it sounded. Generally, Zeus was pretty well spoken and charismatic, but he was caught off guard.He wasn’t used to seeing his hookups the morning after… Usually, Nike got rid of the trash for him while he was off clanging and banging in the iron paradise. He thought about what to say next, but before he found the words, he noticed the sheet of paper at her feet, and how his typewriter was empty. This only made him furrow his brow more. It was going to be hard to set the fucking thing right where it belonged. “Do you often touch things that don’t belong to you?” He asked, bending down to pick the piece of paper up and set it on the desk as he eyed the woman over his shoulder, a smile so short it might as well have been a smirk on his lips.

“Oh, uhm… you have brothers? And… kids?” The woman who had managed to slither her way into Clark Rogers’s bed considered herself to be a superfan. She would know that kind of thing. “It’s your memoir… right?” She asked, knowing she was being pushy. Especially considering he’d just asked her to leave, but that wasn’t going to stop her. If she could get just a single answer out of him… it would be worth it to gush about it on tumblr.

Zeus chuckled in response to the woman’s question, and shook his head. “Kids? You could say that - I have ninety-two.” The woman laughed in response to the absurdity of his answer, but Zeus shook his head and stayed insistent. “No, for real! What you don’t understand is that I’m the god of the sky. Zeus, the lord of Olympus… No, not lord,” he somewhat scoffed the word, as if the title of ‘lord’ were beneath him. “I am Zeus, King of everything. I’m writing my memoirs because I want to share how I feel with my family. My brothers, Hades and Poseidon haven’t looked at me as their equal - let alone their better - in years.” She laughed again, and Zeus couldn’t help but crack a smile. She didn’t believe him, why would she? What he was saying… to a mortal’s ears, it probably sounded insane. “Don’t laugh! John and Atlas are simply the mortal names they took. Disguises to be tossed aside once we regain our divine powers. I’ll need a queen when I take up my throne on Mount Olympus once again. Perhaps you’re up to the task?”

She hadn’t stopped laughing the entire time he’d been speaking. In her mind, she’d realized the truth. Once he finished his proposal, she shook her head and rolled her eyes. “You’ve taken on a new acting role, haven’t you! That’s so exciting, it’s great news… will you still be doing this other, uhm, project? If you’re writing a memoir in character, I bet it’s a pretty big project… you probably won’t be available for this! I might be your last one.”

Zeus frowned again. He hadn’t expected her to believe him, but… she seemed so self-centered. Is that what he had seemed like to his fellow deities? By Odin’s beard… It’s no wonder they hold such a low opinion of me. After he’d sobered up and had a chance to get to know Odin, Zeus had pretty quickly taken up the habit of saying ‘by Odin’s beard.’ They were of similar standing, and Zeus had a deep respect for him. “Well, now that you’ve figured me out, I hope you — “ His cellphone rang, and he took a quick glance at the caller ID before he put it to his ear without much hesitation. This call was important. “Hello? Of course I’ll be there. Yes. Yes. I always do. Okay, I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and looked at the woman with a somewhat disappointed smile. “I’m sorry, but I have to leave. I’ll have my driver take you wherever you want to go, okay?”

Though she was disappointed, she nodded. At least he hadn’t frowned at her again.



Later


Carefully, Zeus picked a piece of lint off of the suit he wore, and flicked it to the side as he headed toward the building, dressed in full costume for his most iconic role: Superman. The man at his side was speaking, maybe to him, or maybe to the bluetooth earpiece he wore, but Zeus’s mind was in the clouds as it often was.

Why was there lint on his super suit? Zeus paid his assistants handsomely to make sure that everything was perfect. He wanted to put on a killer performance, every time. And yet? Lint. Right on the fucking S.

“You know, Clark, you don’t have to do this… Wouldn’t your time be better spent, I dunno, letting me get you actual acting roles?”

Those words pulled Zeus back down to reality almost immediately and he shook his head. “What, are you kidding me? Of course I have to do this. Superman would do this, and I am Superman. I have to do this.” He shook his head. His agent wasn’t really willing to forgive him for publicly announcing his retirement from acting at the height of his career. And then, when Zeus wanted to do charity cases like this? “Come on, my man. For the love of the game?” He asked with a warm smile, flashing his perfectly white teeth.

His agent couldn’t help but sigh and give the slightest of smiles and a shake of his head, “Fine. For the love of the game. Look, Clark, I gotta run for a meeting. She’ll meet you inside and take you where you need to go, okay? I got some new scripts for you to look over, I’ll send them your way… check your damn email.” He waved, and turned to leave. Before he was even three steps away, he was already talking into his earpiece again about something that didn’t matter.

Zeus liked it better when his agent wasn’t around anyway. He let him leave, giving him a chance to say something else if he was going to… then turned his attention to the sliding glass doors that awaited him. He stepped through and to the counter, tapping on the table to get the attention of the busy woman seated behind it. Before he could even speak, the nurse beat him to it. “...Clark Rogers?” She asked, almost apprehensively. It was clear she wasn’t sure about this, but that was a feeling Zeus was used to. He caught it from all angles… his family, his children, deities from the other pantheos, and now? Even the mortals didn’t seem happy to see him.

“Yep, that’s me.” Though this might have been her first rodeo, it sure wasn’t his. As Clark Rogers, Zeus had granted hundreds of wishes for the Make-A-Wish foundation at children’s hospitals across the United States. Being dragged to Seattle for the yearly festival just gave him a chance to do it here. Many of the other deities didn’t seem to care about the mortals, but Zeus couldn’t help himself.

As the nurse stopped in front of the room where he was going to be meeting the child, Zeus looked inside the bag he was carrying, checking that the gifts he’d brought the child were ready to go. Of course, Zeus wasn’t just going to show up to say high in character and then run off. He looked at the nurse, who nodded, and then he took a breath before he stepped inside the room, closing the door behind himself.

Interacting with the patients who were likely terminal was more difficult than he’d thought it would be. In Zeus’s mind, a lot of the modern day problems could likely be traced to the Fall. There had been a time where he could have called Apollo and solved all the medical problems in the building, but today? Today they had no power, and all he could do was offer a shoulder and an ear. With a smile, Zeus approached the bed with the frail child in it, holding out a hand for a shake.

“I heard you wanted to meet me?” He asked, and the young boy looked him up and down and frowned. It stung when they still seemed distant, but it was Zeus’s job to make them smile before he left. He pulled his hand back, and instead reached inside the bag he held, pulling out the gaming console he’d purchased. “Do you want to play? We’ll have fun.”

“You’re not the real Superman, are you?”

Zeus hadn’t been expecting that kind of sass from such a small, frail child. It kind of made it hit a little harder. He held out the Nintendo Switch, nodding toward it, “Oh yeah? What makes you so sure of that? Don’t I look like Superman?” Zeus knew perfectly well that he looked like Superman, especially with the smile on his lips. He watched as the kid opened up the Nintendo Switch, and he kept talking. “I am Superman, you know. I’ve saved the day countless times, I’m just not the Superman you know. He fights Lex Luthor… me? I fought a cyclops, a giant, my brother… Just as epic as a fight against Darkseid, I’d say. Besides, don’t I look good in the costume?”

As Zeus bragged about the glory days, he veered off on a bit of a self-centered comment. That sort of thing seemed to always happen when he spoke, but he barely even noticed. Continuing his rambles, he only stopped when the child spoke again. “This is dead. I can’t even play it.” Zeus paused. The child clearly either wasn’t listening, or didn’t care about what he had to say about the good old days, but he found himself wondering what would happen if he flexed just a little bit. If Hera found out, he’d never hear the end of it.

Showing off might make the kid smile… that was well worth the risk. Besides, he’d already risked blowing their cover twice today - once with the woman who was in his home, and once with the child already. “Never fear, Superman is here.” He smiled, and held out a finger. Zeus concentrated, and a tiny burst of electricity appeared over his finger. The child’s expression immediately warped from disappointment and sadness to one of wonderment. Zeus knew he had him in the palm of his hand now.

He bounced the lightning bolt up and down off his index finger, smiling as he watched the child’s eyes follow it up and down. He didn’t say a word, he was saving that. He pinched the lightning bolt between his two fingers, and threw it toward the Nintendo Switch. There was a quiet shock sound, and then the Switch came to life in the child’s hand and Zeus watched the expression of awe carefully. “See? I told you. I’m Greek Superman.”

“How… how did you do that?”

“The Last Son of Krypton. Make sure you keep my secret, alright?”

“Thank you Mr. Superman!”

After that happened, it was easier for Zeus to chat and talk with the child. The energy and the air in the room had changed - and for the most part, he managed to not talk about himself for too long. When he finally left, the child was all smiles and laughter as he walked out of the door and looked over his shoulder, putting a finger to his lips to remind the child to keep the secret and when he nodded, Zeus smiled and looked to the nurse who was waiting diligently outside of the room. “What did you do…? I haven’t heard him laugh in weeks…” She asked as they walked away, and Zeus shook his head.

“I can’t reveal my secrets, can I?”



The Present


Having to run back home to change caused Zeus to be later than he wanted to be. There was hardly going to be any time to hit on any of the other pantheon’s goddesses, and he was probably going to miss his own children. The festival was the only time he got to speak to some of them. Mostly, because they hated him and ignored him. But he was working on that!

Still, something was off as he sent his car off with the valet and approached the festival. It was quieter than it normally was, and the energy was wrong. He couldn’t explain it, not until he saw the congregation of people crowded around something, and heard the shouting. The king of Olympus was late, but he wasn’t a fool. He could smell it in the air, the blood of the divine. His heart sank as he approached the circle and he realized who was dead. It was his grandchildren.

Zeus had seen his family die before, but for some reason this was different. Before, there was always the chance they would come back, but felt… final, like there was no way to come back from this. Zeus was having trouble understanding the different emotions exploding in his chest. Rage, sadness, confusion, frustration. If he felt this way, he couldn’t imagine how Persephone felt.

That thought brought Zeus back to reality, and he looked around. He didn’t see her or her husband anywhere - nor did he see Athena. He knew she would have already jumped on this, who else was going to solve this case? He stepped away from the commotion, and pulled out his phone. His finger flew across the letters as he sent messages out.

To: Persephone
I know you’re going through a lot right now. If you need me, tell me.


The first and most important went to Persephone. The second to her husband, and that was much more simple.

To: Hades
I’m with you. We’ll get them together


And finally…

To: Athena & Nike
When are we going to meet?


With those out of the way, Zeus ran a hand through his hair and dropped his phone in his pocket. Once he had more details, he’d figure out what his move was. He wasn’t about to start tearing the world apart trying to figure it out himself - that was the Zeus of old. The new Zeus would at least give Athena a day to figure something out.
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